oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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