Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
