I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
