There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
