Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
