I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
