Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
