see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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