with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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