he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
