He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize