break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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