The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize