shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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