just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
