Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
