did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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