mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
