Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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