I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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