I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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