you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
