Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
