why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
why do cheetos always look like penises
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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