he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
