I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
