So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
