Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
