i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
