Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
