drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
