alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
