She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
