I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
