speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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