I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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