five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
