dude i'm inner monologue high
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
