I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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