I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
A bitchslap is in order.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
