Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
