I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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