i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
