I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
