Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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