Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
