I am puke
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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