Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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