he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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