Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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