Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
