I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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