her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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