You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
