i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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