i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
