May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize