I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
