I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
