Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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