I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
