dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
