Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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